More than ten years ago I wrote a newspaper column criticizing writers who attribute motives to others. I am going to violate my own critique here.

When educators say, “We should do what is best for the child,” these words contribute nothing to the decision making process, which leaves the significance of the utterance in the speaker’s motive. Evidently, the speaker wants others to re-set their consciences to what is best for the student, putting aside whatever selfish motives they probably have.

But the reason educators struggle to do what is best for the student is not that they don’t want “what is best for the student.” It is that they don’t know what is best. There is never a sign saying:

→ This path takes you → to what is best for the student →

In fact, the opposite is true. “Best for the student” raises numerous issues:

• “Best” in the long-term or short-term?
• What if “best” for one student sets an unacceptable precedent?
• What if “best” for one student disadvantages others?

The questions go on and on.

Saying you want what is best for the student might make you feel good, but it contributes nothing to the decision making process. Self-righteousness is not a strategy. I love irony.

Guest blog by Jennifer Buckley

HS Special Education Teacher

Guilford County Schools

I tried to think of when I witnessed the six virtues in my school because I wanted to write about a specific event. Then I realized my colleagues demonstrate the virtues all the time.

We had a faculty meeting last week about test scores, changes to teacher tenure, and the new teacher contracts. I looked around and saw frustration and defeat on the faces of my colleagues. They work hard to provide students with the knowledge and skill needed to be successful; but year after year they get stepped on by the elected officials who are supposed to represent them. Teachers aren’t acknowledged for what they do. Instead, they are penalized as they participate in a flawed system in which they have no say.

Still, day after day these teachers come back to do their best with students. They come back to teach them, nurture them, discipline them, and love them. If that is not strength and courage, what is? Many stay after school, create imaginative lessons, plan curriculum and encourage students on a daily basis. They think and solve problems on the fly, they have to learn how to deal with all kinds of people, being sensitive to a variety of issues and problems. Is that not imagination?

Teachers give of themselves all the time. They buy supplies, food, and clothes for students. The time that it takes to help students, go to meetings, and serve on committees is another act of generosity.

Times are tough for educators right now. There are many reasons they are tempted to leave the profession, but they stay.  The six virtues are represented everyday by the teachers with whom I work.

Guest blog by Ryan Chandler

Social Studies Teacher

Jesse C. Carson HS, Rowan-Salisbury Schools, NC

Many adults believe high school students are self-absorbed and care only about themselves. I had a recent experience that shows the other side of adolescence. My story is about student generosity.

At the beginning of November, the mother of one of my students was hospitalized. Not long afterward, she passed away.

Once students heard about the mother’s passing, they told me they wanted to do something for their classmate. I thought it was a wonderful idea.

What happened the next few days blew my mind. I could not have been more proud of this class. For several days they took up collections. They even asked students from their other classes to contribute.

I was amazed at how generous the students were, and I know their classmate appreciated it. This also brought my class closer together as they shared their concern for the well-being of another student. It showed me that high schoolers care about others, too.

Guest blog by Mike Weddington

Music Teacher, Wilkes County, NC

Although there are many situations in which the six virtues make things better, a recent one stands out to me. Last year I taught a fourth grade boy who lost his father. I will call him John.

John was likable and didn’t get into trouble, but after the death of his father he became angry and stopped caring about school. He started to bully classmates. He challenged authority, and he was hard to deal with in the classroom. My confrontations with him usually ended in arguments about every little thing. He refused to do what I asked, so I dug in my heels and insisted that he meet classroom behavioral expectations, the same as other students. I felt it was my duty.

This year is different. John has a compassionate classroom teacher whose caring nature has made a big difference. This year is also different because my interactions with John have been positive, too. I decided to be humble and realize that John may not be able to follow all my behavior rules. I decided to channel his aggression and outbursts into something positive. I adjusted my rigid expectations and connected with him on his level.

I began by not immediately shutting him down when he began his classroom outbursts.  Rather I engaged him in a positive way and joked with him, whenever I could.  He quickly realized that I cared about him and things are better between us this year. It was humbling to realize that I needed to connect on his level and respect him before he would reciprocate with respect for me.

John is much more pleasant to be around and his challenges are good natured, instead of bitter and angry. When I give him attention in a non-confrontational way, the entire class is more productive. I have not changed my expectations for him. I have altered the way I deal with him. Humility, instead of pride, makes a positive difference in educational situations.

Guest blog by Loryn Morrison

Asst. Principal, Welcome Elementary School

Davidson County Schools, NC

I am a worrier. My husband often jokes with me, saying I am constantly waiting for the sky to fall. I try to prevent myself from worry by avoiding difficult situations. To clarify, though, I do not worry about everything. I worry about money.

My husband lost his job three years ago when we were eight months pregnant with our son. To say that I thought the sky had fallen would be an understatement. We have been recovering from financial hardship ever since, but money worries still haunt me.

While it is embarrassing to put these concerns into words, I am trying to be courageous so others can identify.  For the past year I have been using our hardship as an excuse to avoid giving to others who are less fortunate.

For the past five years, I was in a district leadership position for a rural school system. I worked in many schools, but was never part of their cultures. For example, students on free and reduced lunch were a number associated with Title I funding, rather than people struggling for proper nutrition. I believe I lost touch with the reality faced by many of our students.

This year, I am an assistant principal in a school with many free and reduced lunch participants. This school is teaching me about generosity and humility every day.

I believe in teaching the six virtues, but I have to model them before I can teach them. Specifically, I need to model generosity.

One of my responsibilities is to greet bus riders each morning. This has taught me about our students. Some don’t have gloves or cold weather coats. Some wear the same outfit every other day. When I pass the local food shelter on my way home, I sometimes see our parents in line.

I also met Kim (a pseudonym), when her mother enrolled her in kindergarten. Kim and her mother had just gotten an apartment after living in a homeless shelter. Each morning Kim came to school excited to learn.

In October, Kim’s mom was far along in a pregnancy, and Kim started being late for school. Each morning she would come in and just cry. Many thought she did not want to leave her mother.

In my old state of mind, I would have let someone else care about Kim’s situation, but my new state of mind said I should step forward. I found out Kim and her mother were living in their car. Her mother lost her job because she couldn’t stand for long hours (doctor’s orders). She couldn’t pay the rent, and Kim couldn’t ride the bus in the morning, which meant she missed breakfast.

Kim was crying because she was hungry. She was not eating dinner and now she was missing breakfast. Each morning, it became my mission to get Kim breakfast. Seeing Kim’s face when she got food in the morning showed me that my sky had never really fallen. Since meeting Kim, I have stopped avoiding situations that might cause me pain or worry.

I became an educator because I want students to love learning. I now realize children cannot love learning if their basic needs are not met. Children in our schools need to see that we care about their basic needs as well as their education. We need to model that caring, so others can see that our hearts are in it for all of them.

Our school now donates to the local food shelter on a regular basis. We have maximized our backpack program. And there is a large room where students can get clothes, if needed.

Last Tuesday a fourth grader saw that her classmate needed shoes. That night she gathered several pairs from her closet and brought them to school the next day. She asked the teacher if she could meet with her classmate privately. She and the other girl went into a quiet area during independent reading time. They probably did not read that day, but one girl got to go shoe shopping. The girl who donated the shoes told only her teacher, and the other girl has proper shoes because of her generosity. That is why I am in education.

Guest blog by Carrie Sprouse Norris

Pisgah Forest Elementary School

Transylvania County, NC

Teachers understand that the six virtues make our students into the human beings our world needs. With schools trying to pack in more academics, however, early grade teachers are abandoning or shortening community building activities during morning class meetings.

Sadly, I have sometimes been that teacher. Some days I don’t take time for morning circle compliments because we have to get into our RTI groups. And I have stopped doing buddy reading with older students because we have to complete Progress Monitoring.

Sometimes, however, I “sneak” in a virtue lesson. It can be a few seconds to compliment a student on pushing everyone’s chair in without being asked. Or it can be complimenting students on the way they lined up for lunch. Or I acknowledge the courage of a student who recites a poem in front of class.

There was one particular time at recess about a month ago when I thought, “Forget my math lesson. It can wait.”

“Rob” suffers from seizures throughout the day. This makes his movements clumsy and causes him to drool. He is different, but he yearns to have friendships like the other children. My class knows I am on the lookout for kids who may be alone, and I take notes on who chooses to include others. Rob was often included, but it was usually a game of tag, where he ended up being the “tagger” the entire time.

While watching this one day last month I had seen enough. I called over two boys who were throwing the football. I asked them if they would ask Rob to play. The boys agreed. They called him over and began tossing the ball back and forth. Within just a few passes, Rob was catching the ball. He was so excited. I was on the grass cheering him on, and pretty soon a few girls were doing cheers.

I called everyone over to make teams. Rob was on a team with 3 other boys. During the first few minutes, Rob just ran around. He never touched the ball. I didn’t say anything and just watched.

Eventually, I saw the teams huddle up to plan their play. The next thing I knew, a pass was thrown to Rob, who caught it and ran for the touchdown. The crowd (teachers and cheerleaders) erupted into applause, as the team ran to high-five Rob. I have never seen a child smile so big. We went into the school building a few minutes later still talking about Rob’s touchdown. The entire class was happy for him.

I later thanked the student who included Rob in the game. He simply stated, “I wanted him to be happy.”

My students did not learn about measurement that day, but they learned what it feels like to make someone else happy. Since that day my students have displayed generosity and understanding at recess. Rob continues to play football, and he is often the first one chosen.

Guest blog by Elizabeth Humphries

Grade 4 Teacher, Elizabeth Cashwell Elementary

Fayetteville, NC

I listen to the news on my way to school every morning. Reports are usually about crime and politics. One day this fall the reporter said a man raped, attacked, and maimed a woman while her two children tried to defend her. Utterly disgusted, I pulled into work and tried to forget this terrible news.

About an hour after I got to work I was shocked to discover that this incident involved my student and her mother.  One of my precious children had defended her mother while she was brutally attacked. Tears filled my eyes and sickness hit my stomach.

I was surprised when my student came to school the next day. She fell into my arms as she entered my room. We cried together. She explained her bravery, and she said she could overcome what had happened.

Since then, this girl has found the courage to move on. She has been placed in another home and she attends counseling. Throughout the whole ordeal she never stopped smiling. When I asked her how I could be brave, like her, she said: “Have teachers like you.”

This situation raised our awareness about students’ home circumstances. Their home lives can be difficult in many ways; so we have to provide a safe, caring environment at school. Being a teacher is not only about planning and presenting math and language lessons. It is also about building classroom communities and being the role models our children need.

In the Foreward to Educational Courage: Resisting the Ambush of Public Education (EC: RTAOPE) Deborah Meier wrote:

And we need resistance to the continuing assault on public education that reduces schools to market-driven factories that select and sort our students, distorting visions of communities of learning and growth and activism. We can’t internalize the norm that’s out there and can’t accept that this is “the way things have to be.” We mustn’t adjust to injustice, losing our visions, our hope and our active resistance. (pp. x-xi)

I’m on the side of resistance because I agree with Meier.

Continue reading →

An old friend of mine used to warn about analogies: “They can both clarify and distort relationships.”

I thought of that as I read the Asheville Citizen-Times column headlined, “Abstinence is the answer” (July 20, 2013, p. A6). The author is a woman who periodically argues against abortion in our local paper. In this column she quoted Reverend Dahl B. Seckinger:

There is an alternative for the unmarried, and that is through the practice of chastity. It is foolproof, it is not hazardous to your health, parental permission is not needed, it is nondiscriminatory between the sexes, as either can practice this form of birth control, it is cheaper than any other form of birth control. It is energy-saving, it is tax-free and does not require billions in federal spending, nor is any red tape involved. I might add that it eliminates much of the danger of contracting venereal disease. Is this too simplistic an answer to the problem? It is medically sound and safe in its practice. There is no question about its moral implications. It is biblical. Why not deal with the cause rather than effects?

Reverend Dahl’s answer to the abortion question is like my answer to the school improvement question. We both want to address the cause of the problem — he wants to eliminate unwanted pregnancies, I want to improve education. Refraining from sex (chastity) does, in fact, prevent unwanted pregnancies, just like bringing the six virtues to a learning situation does, in fact, improve education.

But neither is a viable solution to the problem. People often fail to be chaste and teachers can’t model virtues they don’t have. Opponents of these solutions don’t say we should not be chaste, or that teachers should not model the six virtues.  They say we sometimes fail to be chaste and teachers sometimes fail to be virtuous.

In other words, my argument for the six virtues is like the chastity argument because it does not solve the problem, even though it is based on what is true. Reverend Seckinger lists the truths of the chastity argument. And the six-virtue argument is based on the truth that all virtues are combinations of these six. But neither set of truths solves the problem because the problems are caused by another truth — people fail to be chaste, and teachers can’t model and teach the virtues they lack.

But let’s be careful with analogies.  The chastity and six-virtue solutions are not analogous in one important way. Chastity is only one thing. It is the absence of the act that causes pregnancy. That is why “abstinence” is in the headline. But bringing virtues to learning situations takes many forms. Education improves whenever teachers bring any of the virtues, even if they can’t always bring all six.

Guest blog by Chip Gordon, Math Teacher

Rohanen Middle School, Rockingham, NC

Generosity and humility have taken Rohanen Middle School by storm. We have improved school climate and teacher attitudes by making “Staff Member of the Month” awards. This new tradition has had a profound effect on the whole school.

It all started in a School Improvement Team meeting. We decided to do something to show appreciation for teachers who are going above and beyond the call of duty.

The monthly award goes to the staff members we want to recognize for their hard work and generosity. Receiving this award one time was a humbling experience – knowing that others saw my efforts and wanted to show their appreciation.

Since we started this tradition, my coworkers and I are more humble as we see the good that many staff are doing. And we are more generous as we recognize the efforts that improve the school for everybody.