Entries Tagged 'Behind the headline' ↓

All you need are the headlines

Today’s Asheville Citizen-Times front page headline:

The Big Thanksgiving Day paper

Above that:

Your complete Black Friday shopping resource!

Our local paper nailed America in two headlines–the quintessential American holiday and the quintessential American obsession. (I had to go back to put the exclamation point after shopping resource (or is it shopping resource!).

White House in a fog

Our side is corrupt, but the other side is more corrupt.

The White House Office of Science and Technology put out a press release on Tuesday giving credit to Trump for “ending the COVID-19 pandemic.” (Amanda Marcotte, Salon, October 28, 2020 5:00PM)

Donald Trump is confused. His case of Covid-19 has ended, so he thinks the pandemic has ended. Oh–I forgot–his tiny, self-absorbed brain understands only what is about him, and EVERYTHING is about him. So, there you have it. He ended the pandemic.

New NFL Nickname

Our side is corrupt, but the other side is more corrupt.

Headline:

Members of Pence’s Inner Circle Test Positive for Coronavirus

Several members of Vice President Mike Pence’s inner circle, including at least four members of his staff, have tested positive for the coronavirus in the past few days, people briefed on the matter said, raising new questions about the safety protocols at the White House, where masks are not routinely worn.

Maggie Haberman, NYT, October 25, 2020

If the Trump-Pence administration were a sports team, their nickname could be the Viruses. Yes–the Washington Viruses–new NFL nickname issue solved.

We are great again

Our side is corrupt, but the other side is more corrupt.

President Trump says we have turned the corner with the virus, and the economy is great. The court jester is at it again.

Chris Wallace: Where have you been?

Our side is corrupt, but the other side is more corrupt.

Headline:

Chris Wallace Blames Trump For Debate Chaos: He Bears ‘Primary Responsibility’

Quote from story:

He (Wallace) said that initially, when Trump started engaging Biden, he thought, “We’re going to have a real debate here.”

(POLITICS 10/01/2020)

Really, Chris Wallace? You did not think, “Oh shit! Here we go?” You must get your news from Fox.

Is Trump grabbing more pussies?

Our side is corrupt, but the other side is more corrupt.

Female immigrant detainees in Irwin County, Georgia, report that they were forced to undergo unnecessary invasive gynecological procedures (hysterectomies in some cases). Is Trump having pussies sent to him for grabbing?

When you are a star, you know, they let you do it.

Incompetence

Or side is corrupt, but the other side is more corrupt.

Headline:

Trump attacks mayor after deadly shooting in Portland

Story:

“Wheeler is incompetent, much like Sleepy Joe Biden,” Trump said of Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler.

One unidentified person was killed in the Saturday night shooting, and police are seeking more information about the incident. It occurred at the same time as clashes between Trump’s supporters and protesters in the city streets.

One person dead–Mayor incompetent.

Applying the “Trump rule:”

More than 180,000 people dead–President incompetent.

It is too easy to make fun of this incompetent fool. He is the court jester–right?

Today Trump was formally nominated for a second term

Our side is corrupt, but the the other side is more corrupt.

I did not need a single book by a relative or an audiotape of a sister to know that Donald Trump is a waste of a human being. I wonder when Republicans will discover that.

Oh–I forgot–democratic politics is the art of getting re-elected.

College FB in the fall

Our sides is corrupt, but the other side is more corrupt.

Headline:

Donald Trump pushes for college football to be played this fall

Behind the Headline:

Donald Trump never wanted college football to play this fall. If he had, he would have shut down the economy last April-May. Why was that so difficult to understand? We could have football this fall, if the President had just a tiny bit of understanding, imagination, strength, courage, humility and generosity.

Please don’t be angry

Our side is corrupt, but the other side is more corrupt.

Headline

Pentagon bans Confederate flag in way to avoid Trump’s wrath

Translation

The Pentagon does not want to anger the child who is Commander in Chief.

Same Page Headline

Illinois Speaker implicated in scheme

Translation

Democrats are corrupt, too.

You gotta love the American political system–the greatest in the world–really?